Best Idea Ever: Female KITT + David Hasselhoff Remake

Ok, this is the best idea ever, and will make for the best entertainment ever on say, youtube. I am only not doing this myself because I am not a big enough fan of Knight Rider and it would take me forever to watch every episode and splice all this together.

Someone needs to:

Re-make Knight Rider by doing a voice over of KITT in a hot female voice. Splice everything together to make for an epically entertaining romantic and or bizarrely frustrating relationship between KITT and David Hasselhoff. If you can't make a series out of it please at least give me 5 minutes of LOLZ.

Google Adwords Inaccuracy

So I think this is pretty funny, well it is funny outside of the fact that I am being charged per click for something that is impossible: a 200% click through rate??
1 impression and 2 clicks...that is impossible. If it is a race condition (i.e. the person clicked the advertisement very quickly twice so both clicks got fed to Google's servers at basically the same time, then I cannot believe that Google can't figure out to enforce a constraint that you cannot have more clicks than impressions...

Click the thumb nail to enlarge:



Sometimes I see in my Adwords Billing section that money has been refunded to my account for billing inaccuracies (click quality) or however Google phrases it, so I hope these show up there too...

Oh, and while I am complaining about Google, I'd like to mention that I have recently noticed tons of Groupon ads and ads for some new Google product. There is one particular site that I was targeting that I was getting clicks for around $0.65, now Groupon (who was almost purchased by Google) and these Google ads are everywhere...and now if I want to show up on the site I have to pay like $1.50 per click. Is this fair? I mean, if Google is bidding against me...how is that at all fair? That sounds like a rigged game to me. Who oversees this kind of thing? The FCC? Does the FCC regulate Google? Not that I have heard of, I have heard of the FCC regulating TV and Radio ads, but have not heard about the FCC (or any government agency) being involved in regulating online advertising. I can't believe I actually want government over-site in a matter, but really, it seems like we might need it if Google can rig the game like that...

Antonio "cyx" Daniloski Dies Tragically

cyx died today, the 29th of July 2010, in a fatal car accident that occurred on his way home from the Frankfurt airport. cyx was just 20 years old. The accident was caused by a flat tire that blew out causing control of the car to be lost. cyx will be missed by his friends and family. cyx will also be missed by his eSports family and team: mousesports and by his eSPorts fans around the world. R.I.P Toni, you were a great inspiration for us counter strike players always trying to be as good as you, and it was always a pleasure to watch your matches.

It seems like the mousesports forums are pretty quiet these days, if you want to leave condolences for Toni then I suggest you head to his ESL profile (Toni pwned ESL) which is here: www.esl.eu/de/pro-series/season11/cs/5on5/player/guestbook/cyx/

VAC Forums on Steam website

Awhile back I made a post on the steampowered forums regarding the VAC category having no real reason for existing. Today I wandered into the forums again and was amused that the song remains the same. Here is what I observed awhile back and again just today:

The VAC forum category at steampowered.com is hilarious. Outside of the stickies, zero (0) of the threads in the VAC forum category has any reason for existing. The response to literally every single thread created in this forum category should be “read the stickies,” making the VAC forums utterly inane. The VAC forum category should be closed permanently as it is utterly pointless.

These are the questions and answers to EVERY single thread in this forum:

1. How can I report a cheater?

You cannot report a cheater on these forums, so do not even try. VAC is an automated system that bans people automatically; we will not listen to any hearsay about a “confirmed” cheater that you might provide.

2. I see gamer XYZ and he has obviously been cheating for two weeks, why hasn’t he been banned yet?

One of two reasons, either:

A. The hack has yet to be detected. Please understand that we are making our best effort to detect new cheats so that you can enjoy your gaming experience.

Or

B. The hack has been detected but we have yet to ban the accounts found to be using that hack.

3. Why do you do delayed banning? It’s not fair, you know someone is cheating and you let them keep cheating!

Because it makes it harder for hack developers to develop their hacks, and it allows us to catch more cheaters.

If VAC instantly banned detected hacks then the developers of cheats could make a cheat, join a VAC server, and instantly know whether or not their cheat is VAC-proof or not. If the cheat is instantly detected they can easily go “back to the drawing board” and keep working on their hack to make it VAC-proof before releasing it.
The fact that the developer of the new hack does not know whether the hack is VAC-proof or not means that EVERY site out there selling or distributing a hack that they claim to be VAC-proof is lying to you; they do not know if it is VAC-proof of not, all they know is that VAC bans have yet to be handed out on the hacks behalf.
The fact that you are using a hack means that you will eventually have your account banned. Whether the hack has yet to be detected, or the hack has already been detected and VAC is just waiting to update the ban list, you will eventually be caught. The advantage to waiting awhile is that more and more people will be using the detected hack and that means that more and more cheaters will get caught in the end.

Think about it this way, these are the two ways it could go:

Instant bans:
Hacker makes a hack, joins a VAC server, hack is detected, hacker tweaks the hack, now hack is not detected, hacker starts giving the hack to his friends, 50 people are using the hack, VAC detects it, 50 accounts are banned, hacker makes a new hack…

Delayed bans:
Hacker makes a hack, hack is not detected (as far the hacker knows), hacker gives it to his friends, 50 gamers are cheating, the hack rocks, more people use it, now 5,000 people are using the hack, VAC ban list is updated, 5,000 accounts are banned.
Only a certain number of people use hacks and delayed bans allows VAC to get more of these hackers “off the streets.”

End of story.

Assorted Observations from 1/28/2010

1. My uncle recently went to the hospital for surgery, after the surgery they gave him a bunch of pain medicine. If you have taken pain medicine before you know it can potentially make you constipated. Well, it made him really constipated, and everything they gave him to get the 'pipes moving' wouldn't work, so basically the solution was to not take the pain medicine. But, he was still in a lot of pain from the surgery and also in a lot of pain from being constipated (feeling like there is a ton of gas in there that just won't come out). So...what are you supposed to do when you are in a ton of pain but can not take pain medicine because its causing you even more pain? I think this is a case where you could smoke medical whacky tabacky. Make it legal!

2. Today I overheard two nerds debating who would win in a race between Sylvester the cat and the Pink Panther. They were being serious.

3. I can now earn triple air miles at the Double TT Diner. The Double TT is "open 25 hours a day", so I can earn a crap ton of air miles.

What is life in Beijing China like?

Marc: life is dim sum
you walk down the street and point at shit
and then eat it
its great

Happy Mother's Day !!!

Andy Samberg and Justin Timberlake plan the perfect mother's day !
I originally had this video coming in through youtube, but NBC had it taken off, so lame. I am kind of off-put by putting a link to NBC...don't see any way to embed, well the video is just too damn good to not watch so here is the link: http://www.nbc.com/Saturday_Night_Live/video/clips/digital-short-motherlover/1099491/

"Swine Flu" is NOT the real story.

“Swine flu’s” technical name is “H1N1.” You should call it H1N1 because calling Swine flu “Swine flu” is blatantly harmful to the pork industry. Honestly, are you going to give up eating prosciutto, Serrano or honey baked ham? Are you going to give up bacon? The answer is absolutely not, the stuff just tastes too damned good. Don’t worry; you cannot get H1N1 from eating pork anyway!

H1N1 IS THE MOST COMMON CAUSE OF INFLUENZA IN HUMANS, so why did you suddenly become scared of the flu? The 2009 H1N1 “Swine flu” strain causes the normal symptoms of influenza, such as fever, coughing and headache. It’s nothing special, just regular old flu.

The flu comes around EVERY year. Every year between 250,000 and 500,000 people die of the flu! Only like 100 people have died from “Swine flu.” So what’s the big deal??? Why are you so afraid of the flu this time? Why do we care about the flu this year and not every other year when 500,000 people get killed by it? It’s because this time the media is shoving it down your throat every day. Why would they do that? Is it so that the federal government and the manufacturers of flu vaccinations can make a few dollars selling flu vaccines? No, that’s not a good idea; the amount of money the pork industry and tourist (including airline) industries are going to lose because of the swine flu scare greatly outweighs the amount of money that the vaccine will pull in. So what then? I’ll give you a clue, it has to do with the drug industry, but not the drug industry that makes vaccinations; it has to do with the “recreational” drug industry. It has to do with the “war on drugs,” only this time, it’s an actual war.

Way back in 1999 the BBC called Juarez Mexico “one of the most dangerous places on earth.’ How come? BBC: “Mexico's most powerful drug cartels use [Juarez] as a beach head for their crack and cocaine pipelines into America.” Fact: In 2008 over 6,000 (out of a population of 1.4 million) people were murdered in Juarez. That means that about 1 out of every 233 people living in Juarez got murdered last year. I don’t like those odds! To this year’s murder tally we can already add Juarez’s chief of police. The drug cartels were (and still are) in control of Juarez Mexico. The cartels simply had enough money and power to have their way with the local authorities. Probably at least half the police officers in Juarez were corrupt and were in cahoots with the drug cartels, the cops that stayed honest were murdered.

I don’t want to live in Juarez, what should I do? Unlike his do-nothing predecessors, Felipe Calderón, the current President of Mexico, is not going to let drug cartels run his country. So what is he doing to stop the drug cartels? Well, he has declared martial law on Juarez! That’s right, martial law. In case you don’t know, martial law is where the military takes over where you live and tells you what to do. Martial law is when, if you live in Juarez, you %^@& your pants and wonder “if I thought the police were corrupt, how can I possibly now trust the Mexican Army which doesn’t answer to anyone?!” This is why citizens of Juarez have protested the presence of the military.

So just how big is this mess? Well, there are somewhere between 35,000 and 45,000 Mexican troops massed on the US-Mexico border, specifically they are in Juarez. Holy shit! That’s more troops than we have in Afghanistan! Ah, don’t worry about it, all these wars in far off places, it’s so easy to forget about them and just think about Swine flu and the new Hannah Montana movie. Who cares about the war in Afghanistan anyway? Afghanistan is like 10,000 miles from here, it’s so far from home that it’s easy to forget about. So, how close are we to Juarez anyway? I want to know because, just like George Walker Bush, I like to fight terrorists in Iraq so that I don’t have to fight them at home. Hmm, so how far away is Juarez from the USA….

0.0 miles! Huh? That’s right; Juarez and El Paso Texas are only separated by a thin line called the US-Mexico border. This war is in our backyard. The drug cartels have serious firepower (smuggled in from the USA). They have bazookas, road side bombs, all the makings of a bloody war fought in a dense urban environment, hooray!

Now of course the USA needed to restrict travel into Mexico (check it out, you can’t even Google for driving directions to anywhere in Mexico right now) because they are fighting a war. We don’t want the war to spread into El Paso, and we don’t want drugs coming into our country. The Mexicans want the border closed because in exchange for the drugs the cartels get cash and weapons from the USA which is funding the war and makes the cartels an especially dangerous opponent.

Now, if you are the White House, and you want to close the border with Mexico, which story do you want the media to blab about 24 hours a day? The story where there is a deadly new flu that actually isn’t a deadly new flu, because it is actually just the regular flu, but, you still successfully scare the crap out of people by telling them over and over again that it is a deadly new flu. Or, do you run the story where Mexico has 35-45,000 troops on the US border, has declared martial law (so who knows what’s going on or how many innocents civilians are being mistreated or murdered) and is fighting an urban war against drug cartels that are both ruthless and well armed.

I’d go with the “deadly” flu story! After all, no one likes big government; and if you were to think of the most prime and scary example of big government, it would be having the military patrolling the streets where you live. Also, no one wants to think about the fact that there is a war going on just across the border, I mean really.

So let’s sum up. You should take three things away from this:

1. Swine flu is nothing to worry about, if you want to get a flu shot then get one, but Swine flu is nothing special. We don’t need to be shutting down whole schools or offices because of the flu! Don’t be stupid.

2. Don’t go to Mexico, not because of Swine flu, but because you may be kidnapped or murdered by drug cartels, gangs, or even the police.

3. Don’t watch too much mainstream media, you don’t know what crap they are feeding you, unless there is another “trial of the century”…one of those should hold your attention for 3 months solid.

Video Game Rehab

Okay, so you game a lot. If you were playing on a Nintendo Wii it would tell you to go outside and get a life. So what if you game so much that it is a “problem?"

Why do you game so much? Is it that fun? Is it so you can go pro? Is it so you can escape reality? Is it because you have a debilitating mental disorder? Is it because you are addicted to your xbox as if it was sweet sweet heroin and you are in desperate need of being checked into a rehab center? Did you know that now there are kids actually getting rehab to get over playing video games, as if playing video games was like doing drugs or something?

Is it possible that all this baloney must stop? I mean seriously. If these kids grew up before video games they would be reading comic books or rolling dice and playing Dungeons and Dragons. Do you really need rehab to get over playing Dungeons and Dragons? I mean, I played Dungeons and Dragons, I didn’t get any rehab; I wasn’t cool in high school is all. I got over it, you know why? Well, I’m not really sure, you just figure it out, grow up, get perspective, and get a life. So this doctor says he can give kids addicted to video games rehab. Rehab for what? Rehab for being an anti-social nerd? I mean, is he getting these kids laid or something? Let’s find out what this quack is up to.

Keith Bakker, founder of the first and only videogame addiction treatment clinic in Europe, says the vast majority of patients at his clinic are suffering from social difficulties rather than an actual psychological disorder.

Founded in 2006, the Smith & Jones Centre in Amsterdam has treated "hundreds of young gamers," according to a BBC report, but its treatment methods are changing with the realization that most gaming "addicts" are in fact suffering from "social problems." The clinic has experienced high levels of success with traditional treatment for people who partake in other addictive behaviors, but Bakker estimates that only accounts for roughly ten percent of gamers; for the remaining 90 percent, he said he no longer believes that addiction counseling is the best course of treatment.

"These kids come in showing some kind of symptoms that are similar to other addictions and chemical dependencies," he said. "But the more we work with these kids the less I believe we can call this addiction. What many of these kids need is their parents and their school teachers - this is a social problem."
"This gaming problem is a result of the society we live in today," he continued. "Eighty per cent of the young people we see have been bullied at school and feel isolated. Many of the symptoms they have can be solved by going back to good old fashioned communication." As a result, the clinic is now offering a program that focuses on developing "activity-based social and communications skills" that will help compulsive gamers cope with the pressures of society.

Bakker said the root cause of most videogame-addicted minors lies with parents who have "failed in their duty of care," adding that sometimes parents sometimes have to get tough. "It's a choice," he said. "These kids know exactly what they are doing and they just don't want to change. If no one is there to help them, then nothing will ever happen." However, he also pointed out that the vast majority of online gamers are over the age of 18, meaning they need to seek help on their own because they're beyond any form of legal parental intervention.

Research at the clinic also indicates that many of the negative emotions associated with excessive game play, like anger, powerlessness, isolation and frustration, are actually pre-existing causes, rather than symptoms, of compulsive gaming problems; Bakker said that if parents committed to a greater responsibility for their children, many of these feelings could be dealt with at their source rather than through a retreat into a virtual world.

"If I continue to call gaming an addiction it takes away the element of choice these people have. It's a complete shift in my thinking and also a shift in the thinking of my clinic and the way it treats these people," he said. "In most cases of compulsive gaming, it is not addiction and in that case, the solution lies elsewhere."

Yes it does.

CGS rant

CGS says they closed b/c "projected profitability was too far off"

Um, how was CGS going to EVER be profitable?

CGS is dependent on sponsorship dollars right? How do you make a profit when that is the case? If the sponsor sees you banking a lot of profit they say "hey CGS, what am I paying you all this extra cash for exactly?" Next time CGS will get less money from the sponsor, because CGS can't really do anything about it. CGS you DEPEND on the sponsor, you have NO LEVERAGE and therefore you get NO PROFIT, EVER.

Did CGS think people were going to be filling stadiums a la the NFL paying $100+ for a ticket, $10 for parking, $5 for a hot dog, $8 for a beer and $125 for a jersey after 2 years of being in business? Honestly I hope this happens with eSports someday, it’s just not going to happen quite yet. If this was their idea, then you have to expect it will take more than 2 years to build up. Look at MLG; they are just starting to kick it in the mainstream after a lot more hard work and time than the CGS put in.

What was CGS’ plan exactly? Take a game like CSS instead of 1.6 and change all the rules so that it is "TV friendly;" even though no one watches your league on TV. Make it so that aspiring pros are blocked off and can't play against CGS "pros" (save the too little too late pro-am tourney). Then broadcast the games on DirecTV channel 489484...when everyone that's into eSports can already watch on their CPU? Hello? EVERYONE that plays or is into eSports does it on their CPU. Not everyone has DirecTV; the only reason to put CGS on DirecTV is if you intentionally want to only reach a fraction of your target market, and by the way, for that fraction that you do reach, you are inconveniencing them. This last point really should tip you off that the people running CGS need to get a clue about eSports. If the people at the top don’t know what they are doing, you shouldn’t be surprised that the company is out of business.

Summary: Take a bunch of execs w/ backgrounds in cable TV that have never played a video game and start a eSports company = fail

Counter Strike Anti Cheat at Get Gosu

Here is a snippet scooped out of a Get Gosu chat channel.

brockj is explaining some of Gosu's anti-cheat policy. It looks like a community driven solution. That means not such a dependence on "anti-cheat clients" that don't work or are tedious to use. IMO this is the way to go. I'll post the full policy as soon as I can.

Console

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Connecting...

You have been connected

Overlord: oops, i went to another page and missed your question (s)
brockj: hi
Overlord: what was your question?
Equalization: how does the anti-cheat work, is it like cal where it takes random ss ?
brockj: no
brockj: random ss is stupid ^^
Equalization: tru lol
brockj: it really slows down your system
brockj: so we are doing a bunch of things for anti-cheat
Equalization: cool
brockj: 1 vac2 and z-block (naturally)
Equalization: cuz the last time i played tournament , it had a horrible anti-cheat
Equalization: it depended on people recording demos
brockj: z-block is great b/c it is built by the community and updated by the community.
brockj: we don't depend on client demos either, because they can't be verified (they can be doctored by the client)
Equalization: true
Equalization: yea
brockj: so only demo we would look at is the master demo (hltv) that is kept server side
brockj: i think this will be a common faq question, so i will add this to the faq after we talk ^^]
Equalization: lol sorry for the long reply i was playing source
Equalization: ol
Equalization: nice
brockj: basically we are making a policy that means the community will self police
brockj: this is 1. highlighted by our use of z-block
Equalization: nice
brockj: 2. at get gosu you form your team and then join a tournament
brockj: so you know who you are playing with
Equalization: yea
Equalization: well gotta find a new team
Equalization: lol
brockj: yeah
brockj: so, our policy basically is to make it so that you will want to encourage your teammates not to cheat
brockj: 1 sec, let me add it to the faq
brockj: so you can read it

Swithun the Bishop, who is destined to become Swithun the Saint

This is quite a departure from my usual Video game tournament, eSports, and Counter Strike Source related posts, but I want to post it nonetheless. I think it’s important that I post it because it contains a good, and possibly the only, English translation of Aelfric’s comprehensive account of the life of Saint Swithun, which is found in Aelfric’s Lives of Three English Saints.




“When thou comest to Winchester thou shalt know my name.”


Nothing remains to us of the Old Minster, or anything of its more elaborate successor, which was built in the middle of the tenth century by the Benedictine monks of the Priory of St. Swithun’s, and dedicated not only to Saints Peter and Paul but also to the venerable Swithun. Swithun was the Bishop of Winchester from the years 852 to 862 and one of England’s most adored saints. He was loved and revered in his life for his sweetness of character and for his efficient and energetic conduct of business, and not because he was a mystic or a man who could enact miracles. In fact there is record of only a single miracle performed by Swithun in his lifetime. It is not a very impressive miracle either. “St Swithun, moved by pity for an old dame, who dropped her basket of eggs as she went to market, restored the eggs to her round and whole again. All the same, it is a very practical miracle, a very English miracle.” This paper will examine the life of the influential Saint Swithun, who has captured the attention of so many for over one thousand years. He is so reverenced that it is said, “[t]he name of Saint Swithun is one that has never perished from the lips of his countrymen.” This essay will also elucidate upon the history of Winchester Cathedral and the relics of the Saint that where therein contained. Hopefully it will put to rest the debate concerning the origins of the Purbeck marble fragments that were found in more recent times. Perhaps by settling that argument we will be able to discover the exact history of Swithun’s elusive tomb-shrine.

The history of Swithun himself is not well known and is open to much “expansion and historical illustration.” We do know that by Swithun’s virtuous lifestyle he caused those he came in contact with to live virtuously and to give tithes adequately to the Church.

And if any church fell down or was in decay Saint Swithun would anon amend it at his own cost. Or if any church were not hallowed he would go thither on foot and hallow it. For he loved no pride nor to ride on gay horse, nor to be praised nor flattered of the people.

Here we begin to see a picture of Swithun the Bishop, who is destined to become Swithun the Saint, for he was of the utmost piety and humbleness. Even when it came to his own death Swithun asked that he be buried outside in the graveyard so that none should worship him after he had departed. “For he loved no pomp by his life nor none would he have after his death.” But, before becoming a saint after his death Swithun acted as the bishop of Winchester Cathedral, as an architect, who was noted for building bridges an churches, as a statesman, and as an important individual to his country. One of the duties that Swithun performed as chaplain to King Egbert, who ruled from 802-839, was to raise his son Aethewulf, the Prince of Wessex. Aethewulf would become King in 839 and install Swithun as the Bishop of Wessex in 852. As a child the prince grew extremely “attached to Swithun with an affection which lasted his life-time.” Later in his life Aethelwulf refers to Swithun as “altorem meum,” or “the guide of my youth.” With Swithun’s supervision the character of the prince was perfectly shaped in every manner, including his refined taste, his savvy handling of business affairs, his fairness as a ruler and his morality which he derived from the Scriptures. Under Aethelwulf’s rule Wessex became the most powerful kingdom in England. Swithun, who was one of two of Wessex’s Bishops, was called the “chancellor” because he “was zealous for the instruction and edification of the people, and for improving their domestic condition.” This is the Swithun of accepted history, but it is the Swithun of legend that makes him such an immensely powerful figure.

The following is a discussion of two primary resources that help to generate the Saint Swithun of legend. The first is a set of six fragmented pages of facsimiles written in Anglo-Saxon and translated by John Earle in his book the Legends of Saint Swithun. The original author of these pages is unknown, but Earle dates the work to about 985 CE. The first remaining page begins mid sentence: “and closed over afterwards; until his miracles displayed his influence with God.” This seems to be the end of an account of the first unsuccessful attempt to translate Swithun’s body into the church. The result of this first attempt was that Swithun, unhappy that his wishes to be left outside the church were not being honored, opened up the heavens to rain down upon the monks attempting to dig him up. It then continued to rain for forty days. The second attempt to translate Swithun’s body did not occur until about one hundred years later when Swithun appeared in various individuals’ dreams in his attempt to be moved inside the church. The facsimiles account this process undertaken by the Saint to get the people’s attention. First “came the venerable Swithun to a decrepit-old smith, in dream appearing, worshipfully appareled.” The smith, however, is not prepared to announce his dream because he wishes not to be viewed “as an untruthful news-teller.” The smith is even told this of the monks, that as soon as they open my burial-place, that they may there find so valuable a hoard, that their dear gold will be nought worth in comparison with the foresaid treasures.

The smith eventually follows Swithun’s instructions and visits Swithun’s grave where he becomes so awe-struck that he becomes a monk himself, thereby leaving Swithun in the same place that he started. Met with that dead end, Swithun next appears in the dreams of a hunchback and an invalid who are told they will be healed if they visit Swithun’s grave. They follow Swithun’s instructions and are miraculously “healed by Saint Swithun which thereby leads to the monks discovery of Swithun’s powers.” After being successfully translated into the church there begins the accounts of hundreds of miracles enacted by Swithun; “so many within twelve months, that no man could reckon them.” The facsimile goes on to record numerous specific acts of healing that were performed by Swithun. Even after Swithun is translated and is busy healing the masses he still finds time to appear in dreams and make declarations such as “I am he who now newly came! As if he had thus said; I was manifested now recently.” Swithun goes on to say that “[w]hen thou comest to Winchester thou shalt know my name.” The people are no longer afraid of being called liars and so “the man…awoke out of sleep and said to his wife all the vision which he had seen.” It is said that Swithun healed so many that the church was overflowing with crutches and the stools of cripples. These “tokens” left by the pilgrims “declare that Christ Almighty is God; Who His saint demonstrated through such benefits.” Clearly then, it is no wonder that Swithun was such a popular Saint, the accounts of the miracles he performed are numerous and wonderful.

The following is an additional and more comprehensive account of the life of Swithun. This account is written by Aelfric and is found in Lives of Three English Saints, Edited by G. I. Needham. Needham, unlike Earle, does not include a translation of this hagiography. Therefore, I took it upon myself to translate the text from Anglo-Saxon into English. First one must consider that the formulaic and hagiographic life of the saint here described would find its antidote in Geoffrey Chaucer’s charged, imaginative world of the Canterbury Tales, completed in 1392, some 400 years plus after the burial of St. Swithun. Chaucer, too, describes the tradition of the worshipping of saints and relics in retelling of the Canterbury-bound pilgrims’ purpose for visiting the shrine. But, the shift from adherence to church doctrine and personal belief in the matter of hagiography prior to the first millennium now finds in Chaucer a searching and highly skeptical mind no longer content with dogma. The following is a tale that can only be described as dogmatic:


III. St. Swithun, Bishop

1-4

In the days of Edward’s reign, he who ruled by the same God who had protected England in days gone by, it was then that God made himself manifest to St. Swithun by means of miracles to show evidence of His great glory.

5-10

His deeds clearly were not inspired from other than God himself, nor were they found in books the bishops left in this world before (Swithun) went to Christ. That was their negligence in that they did not write down his works in his lifetime so that mankind after him might learn of him; but God has nevertheless revealed clearly and with miracles and by means of marvelous tokens.

11-17

This St. Swithun was bishop of Winchester, however throughout Hampshire God’s servants prospered, and there were eight bishops as well as Athelwold. At this time, his life was not known, just as we are declaring, additionally that he was buried and his bishopric could be revealed in the West.

18-24

Three years later the saint’s remains were brought into the church, and stonework was begun. At the same time there appeared to a faithful stone mason in a dream the venerable Swithun, and he uttered these words: Can you see the priest named Eadzigle who was in Ealdann’s ministry who was expelled with the other priests from their duties because of the bishop Athelwold’s decree?”

25-30

The smith answered the worthy Swithun thus: “Dear Sir, some time ago I know has he passed: but he departed and I do not know to where he went.” And the holy one said to the old smith: Certainly he has been settled in the corner, and I predict in the name of the Savior that you look for his resting place, and report to (Athelwold) my true abode, and also say to him that Swithun is a bishop of Athewold and say also that he should open my grave and then bring (me) into that church; and he will then grant that I will be made manifest in this time.”

31-35

And the smith answered, “Lo master, Eadzige never believed my word.” Then said the bishop, “Bring him to my grave so that he can deal with the truth that I send to them all. Give him this truth so that he cannot refuse it, then he shall not leave it for naught. Say to each of them that after deciding on the truth of my deeds and the manner of emulating the Lord, and resolutely also attach yourselves to this life. Say this to every man who comes here to open my grave, that they may find these things more precious than gold and they will treasure them highly.

46-55

The venerable Swithun carried the smith from that place and the smith was unable to say anything about that time, he was unable to refuse to be the messenger of the story. The venerable saint spoke again of these things and died after he spread the commands by means of great works. The smith next caused to bring the entire community to his grave, and proceeded without hesitation to honor God with the following words: “Alas! Your three-person God, who arranges all things, grant me, a sinner, that I may speak three times.

56-64

He stood easily on the sand, and then he rested. He who often had sat in that same void stood fast with his feet so that no man might dissuade him from his task. Then the humble smith sought out and met in the market place Eadize and told him what Swithun had bade him and told Eadize all about Swithun.

65-74

The smith said that he would like to proclaim (the wonderful words) of his master and nevertheless he would not commit nor tell, in fear of concealing any of his master’s words, any untruth; he, the messenger, further said to Eadlize what Swithun had declared to him. He told of the detested bishops and other clerks of the monastery who Athewold had expelled for what they had done, since they had not heeded what the saints had commanded of them, although the saints were not satisfied with this world. Athelwold waited there two years in that monastery and there continued to honor God and live his life.

75-91

Blessed is the Almighty! Who created mankind and heaven and earth and who has mercy on sinners and who unceasingly loves us, he, whom in whom we put our trust, for He is the Lord.
Afterwards there was a poor fellow who was dreadfully humpbacked and whose back was very broad; he understood that he should obtain at the grave of Swithun the healing for his disability. He rejoiced a great deal in the morning and crept toward Winchester on his crutches to seek out the saint. Once there, he fell on bent knee and bowed his head. He was healed there by means of the holy bishop who not visible even though he was standing on his back (i.e., the man was on the top of the crypt). Even the monks did not know about the wondrous power of (Swithun) and believed that some other saint had healed the man; but the poor fellow said that it was Swithun who had healed him, for he knew this for himself.

92-111

Then came those who were afflicted with various diseases, so that they had great difficulty seeing and were unable to speak, and who had been laid low their entire life. One man wanted his friend to go to the Old Minster to visit St. Swithun’s grave; and so he did. He kept watch that night at the grave and prayed to Almighty God that his illness would be cured by this Holy St. Swithun. This man wanted to continue his vigil, but daylight came. He wanted to continue to sleep by the venerable’s grave, until he was completely cured, and then the afflicted man, who had been completely overcome with sleep, did awake. He was healed by means of the Holy Swithun, and he searched for his shoes before he departed with the other healed men. The holy one at his grave healed them all, eight afflicted me, and afterwards they realized this was so because of the miracles of their God.

112-124

King Edgar, after this sign, wanted to exhume the body and addressed Athelwold, the worthy bishop, to advise him of his own intention. Bishop Athelwold, along with his abbots and monks, began to sing sacred songs, and carried the bier into the church of St. Peter, and there he rested amid veneration and miracles yet to be performed. Many sick were healed by means of his power, within four days of the move (into the church); and within five months and a few sunrises there were few who were not healed, at least three who were sick, perhaps five or six, ever seven or eight, ten or twelve, sixteen or eighteen. Within ten days two other sick men were healed and these two other men soon told of the miracle.

125-138

The graveyard was soon filled with afflicted men who were seeking the healing power of the monastery; and each of them who had thus been miraculously cured could not find five in that entire company who had not likewise been cured. In those days there were three wives on the Isle of Wight, two of whom who had been blind for nine years and the third had never seen the light of day. They got around with difficulty and with the assistance of a guide, a dumb boy, and they came to the Saint, and one night they awoke after their vigil and healed, they who had been blind, along with their dub guide. Then the boy said to the sacristan that he had never even uttered a word (of prayer) that night and then began to pray and offer his songs of adoration.

139-155

Also in that time there was a servant woman who had been whipped for some offense, and who had violently been taken into custody, and she was to be publicly flogged on the morning; she kept vigil that night and cried out with weeping to the holy Swithun to be spared from the whipping by means of God’s intervention. As morning came and she had completed her third round of songs of praise her fetters fell from her; and she proceed to cry out at the grave to the saint. The master came to unbind her hands as Swithun had interceded on her behalf. And one lay disabled by paralysis for many years. And he said that he would travel to Winchester on horseback and beg to be cured. With him were his friend and servant, and he was healed along the way, but nevertheless he continued on to the holy saint, and the two others who were with him traveling on foot also saw that he had been cured and they all earnestly thanked the saint.

156-168

Twenty-five men, mostly with lamentation, came to the holy place to be healed; some were blind, some were invalids, some were near death, and some were dumb, and each wanted to be healed by the saint and that is why they went to his resting place. And there was an Englishman who was very rich who was suddenly blinded; and he went to Rome; there he sought the healing power of the Holy Apostle. He remained in Rome for four years, but was not cured, and he finally heard about the miracles performed by Swithin. He returned to his native land and came to the place of the holy saint and was, in turn, healed.

169-185

And some there were who were totally blind for seven years, and who used a guide to lead them everywhere. One day, as often happened, this one man became angry and abandoned his blink friend; and he took himself away and the other one did not know what had happened and prayed to God with a full heart and with earnestness said: “Behold, you almighty Trinity of men and angels who took on my affliction: I am not able to see and my guide has left me. Have mercy on me Trinity through your glorious Swithun and forgive me my sins. As he was saying these things and praying to the saint, he continued thus: “Lo! You meek bishop who has caused many to come to you by means of the living God-beloved, I pray you that you intercede to the mighty God: and I believe that He will eventually heal me. He was healed and lifted his face from the ground and without any guide was able to continue; and then gave praise to his God very fervently.

186-210

Athelwold, the worthy and holy bishop, who was in that the day the Bishop of Winchester, bade all his monks to assemble in the cathedral so that they could at the anniversary of the point of (Swithun’s) death offer songs to the saint who had healed the sick. They offered their songs of praise for three nights and all loathed to fall asleep for they wanted to sing their songs of praise in each other’s company. (In a vision) Swithun, wonderfully adorned, came to some of the monks and said: “Go to the ministry of Ealdan and say to those monks to stop their grumbling and slothful ways as these are displeasing—and they should seek the Trinity’s wonders and the Holy one by means of songs which the bishop command them to do; and say to them also if they do not do this, then each of them will cease to see any further miracles; and teach each of them songs of praise with which to give praise for Him who has healed so many, they then realized that on one ever saw such wonders anywhere.

211-240

They awoke from this delightful slumber in the morning, which they had not enjoyed for a long time, as a reminder of Swithun’s thrall over them. They were then very ready to go to the bishop Athelwold to tell him of their dream vision. Athelwold sent a message to the household of the king’s monks and told them that they should sing songs of praise; and that they should fast for seven days and pray. They did thus unceasingly and then departed, and their songs went with them. And then there was one who had stolen; but he was not guilty, and after the man was sentenced, his eyes and ears were afflicted. He was blind for seven months and he was unable to hear, and he went to seek out the holy Swithun’s bones, rayed to the saint on bent knee and asked for his help—for he wished to have his sight restored; and he said he was unjustly punished. Then God’s miracle worked on the man through Swithun so that he saw clearly and his eyes were healed, and the evil was thrust out of his eyes, and his one eyeball was made clear, and the other hung healed at his cheek. He was forgiven his transgression. It is proper that we pray for God’s healing by going to God Himself, for he is over all other kings. And we should surely pray to the God who helps us by means of his mercy.

241-262

Once there was a foolish man; and this foolish man was given to playing games and such that he said that he was Swithun: “I would have you know that I am Swithun and I command that you carry your light to me and kneel on bent knee so that I can forgive what you have requested. This man blasphemed so long with such words that he fell into a soulnessness, and he soon had to be taken to his bed and there he lay despairing of his life. He begged that the next day he would be carried to the holy Swithun so that he could confess of his deceit and presumption; and he was healed because of his desire. I say to you all that when men unwisely and foolishly play at such things, then should they beseech the dead and confess them of the advent of salvation so that they will be reborn. Some men drink and anger God with their festivities, and such festivities are not good for their health, but holy prayer will rectify this.

263-295

Once one-hundred and twelve men came to the saint with many varying diseases; and each was miraculously cured within three weeks and they returned their thanks to the Almighty and to the worthy Swithun. Once a knight fell violently from his horse and with that broke his arm and one of his legs and he was soon in such a state that he was in fear of dying. He was his master’s very favorite, and the lord bade every other of his knights to pray to the Almighty who had helped them over time by way of Swithun. They implored Swithun with one accord, “Lo, you holy Swithun, we beg by the Holy One who has forgiven me and all of us knights and I am he who has come to the living God every day of my life to do his bidding.” The knight was healed through Swithun’s intercession and the lord rejoiced and gave praise to his God. Some say that an old man’s afflicted servant lived on the Isle of Wight who prayed some nine years and he was unable to get out of his bed. He was swiftly brought to the holy shrine. The invalid said, “How may I earn they grace and be able to leave this bed without assistance?” And the holy one answered, “Yu come to this place to be with us, that you may receive healing.” He was so very glad to hear this that wanted to go to him; so, that this might happen, he was carried out and transported to a most magnificent field beautifully flowering; in that field there was a church made of shining gold and jewels, and the holy Swithun stood there clothed in shining vestments at the altar ready to glorify God.

296-320

Swithun had said to all mankind: “I say to you, brothers, you shall not from this day forth curse, nor tell tales, nor perpetrate murder, nor shall you fawn upon others, no do any evil deeds of savagery, but with my help, you must give all you wealth to the poor, and thereby will you receive the mercy and healing of God. The holy one said these things to none other than to those who would heed these deeds. The holy Swithun knew this to be true and considered further and continued, “Brothers, I say to you, do no harm to anyone, even though he do harm to you; but imitate the Holy Trinity [and even pray for the cursed Jews] and pray that you do not end in faithless death. Just as Paul the Apostle said to all Christian men “Give to the hungry, give them food, quench their thirst by giving them drink.” The bedridden said these things often to the bishops, “Lo! Men often say such things, but few men have understood what it is they have spoken.” Then Swithun said, I am he to whom you come—honestly, it is so, for I was until recently unknown.” Then continued the bishops to the supplicant, “How are you called?” and the saint said to them, “When thou comest to Winchester, you will know my name.”

321-334

The man who had been bedridden awoke from his sleep and said to his wife that all that had happened to him (in his dream). The wife said to him that it was Swithun who had taught him about the saints’ lives and that he had seen his fair image in the church. They (the other saints) had said to them, “It was not yet appropriate that the man [Swithun] was borne into the church and that you prayed to the saint and that the people were healed by means of the saint’s merit. So, they did finally carry the man into the church within the Isle of Wight and he was healed by Swithun’s merit and this healing allowed him to once again use his feet, and he was taken to the church. Afterward, he was carried to Chester [Winchester] and there decayed and Athelwold that honorable bishop was made whole through St. Swithun and Landferth, the foreigner, took all this down in Latin.

335-353

We should never regulate our conduct by dreams, for then we would not be of God. For such dreams may, as we read in books, be no less than the deception of the devil and not of God. But if one follows God’s precepts and crosses oneself before praying, then no harm will attend him. If the dreams are delightful, then they emanate from God, and it they are hurtful then they are from the devil; and God himself forbade that we do not follow His visions, lest we be deluded by the devil. And once there was a man in Winchester who was angry with his own man for some negligence and set him up in a fetter bond. He continued to be bound such for a long time and he finally stole away with his staff which allowed him to hop in order to seek out Saint Swithun will loud lamentation. The one who had bolted shouted out about his bondage and his saint healed him. There was once another man, whose head was bound by heavy guilt, and he came to the saint and his heavily bound head burst from its bondage when he prayed.

354-370

Nothing we have written, no account for with words, all of the miracles that the holy Saint Swithun through God’s assistance benefited these folks, these imprisoned men, these diseased men, men with fetter who themselves mightily yearned for their God with good works that Swithun performed, some by means of miracles. The Old Church was completely encircled with crutches of the cripples hanging from one wall to the other, hanging there after they had been healed, and on could not gainsay that they had been healed. Such were the signs that Christ, indeed, is Almighty God, that his saints were contained within these walls, and the Jews, deluded by the devil, refused to believe in the living Christ, are the anti-Christ to be slain by God; only then will they submit, these wretched ones, at the world’s end; then will they bend to Christ.

371-finis

We have now briefly given witness to Swithun, and we say to all that the time was propitious and delightful in England, when king Eadgar reigned in the Christian land and peace reigned the earth and his reign was without strife, and his own people were of the land, and all other kings who had been on the island, Cumera and Scotland, came to Eadgar—well eight previous kings—and all these acknowledged Edgar’s wisdom.

In addition to this, so many miracles were wrought by our Saint Swithun, such as have already been recounted, and long have we preferred, that these miracles occurred frequently. In that day there were very many wonderful bishops—Dunstan the worthy was on the bishop’s throne—and Athelwold the worth, and others also; indeed, Dunstan and Athewold were men of God, and paid homage to His will, and they were steadfast in their allegiance; and truly God worked his will through them. The Wonder and the Benevolence of the Creator is such that His glorious might shall be extolled with miracles, so that they shall reign forever. Amen.

As a result of the great miracles that Swithun was performing he was translated from the graveyard to the Old Minster which was expanded into a shrine-church in his honor. This occurred during the tenure of Bishop Ethelwold (963-84) and his successor, Aelfheah (984-1006). A vast structure was built around and over the body of Swithun. Not long after, in 1093, Swithun was translated into the modern day Winchester cathedral, which was built under the influence of the newly arrived Normans. “Architecturally, the Cathedral nave is one of the most glorious examples of Gothic building in England.” This nave was constructed over the same site as the old one, by means of having built the eastern end and transepts of the church first, then demolishing the Minster and finally building the new nave last. The reliquary of St Swithun was translated from the old church into the new one on St Swithun’s day, 15 July 1093, under the supervision of Bishop Walkelin. By this means of architectural maneuvering the original grave of Swithun remained inside the confines of the church.

During Swithun’s first few hundred years-enshrined in Winchester Cathedral a rich heritage and tradition developed only partly as a result of the mass pilgrimage that Swithun attracted.

Winchester was the capital of England—the seat of government, the home of the kings, and their resting-place when they came to die. Twenty kings were buried in Winchester, and thirty-five made it their capital. Until the time of the Reformation, Winchester was not only the richest see in England, but also provided the English kings, century after century, with their ablest administrators.

Besides the political significance of Winchester Cathedral it was also so important because of its possession of Swithun’s relics. Swithun was probably venerated second to only St. Thomas at Canterbury. Pilgrims, many who were on their way to visit Canterbury, were made to enter the cathedral by a “door in the north transept, now walled-up but clearly visible from the exterior, and so to make their processional way to the tomb.”

During Winchester’s glory years it naturally grew and developed architecturally. Work on the retrochoir came under the direction of de Lucy, Bishop of Winchester from 1188 to 1204. Two references to this work appear in the Winchester Annals and this work was supposedly begun in 1200 and completed before 1220. This, construction, was not however to make room for more pilgrims to Saint Swithun’s relics. We know this because the relics of Swithun were in a feretory platform behind the high altar and were venerated by pilgrims not standing around it, but under it, having crawled through the “holy hole.” The actual purpose of the retrochoir was to create a space between Swithun’s feretory and the newly constructed Lady Chapel, which in fact also made Swithun’s relics more accessible. In the center of the retrochoir now resides “the sepulchral effigy of a knight…between the chantries of Cardinal Beaufort and of William Wayneflete, on the spot where the shrine of St. Swithun once stood." It is believed that Swithun’s bones were moved from the altar, where they had resided in the feretory donated by King Edgar, this feretory was said to be “marvelously and skillfully made of silver, gold and precious stones,” to the center of the retrochoir in the year 1476 as a result of several building projects.

[F]ollowing the death in 1447 of Cardinal Beaufort, bishop of Winchester, when three mutually dependent projects were initiated: the construction of the Great Screen, the creation of a new shrine-base and reliquary in the middle of the retrochoir, and the erection of Beaufort’s own chantry chapel. The moving of the shrine to the retrochoir appears to have been a consequence of the construction of the Great Screen.

This process of development is “partially documented in the cathedral’s Register of the Common Seal,” and it is noted that the feretory was “melted down in 1451, yielding 47 lb. 7¼ oz. of silver.” Scholars continually write that there is not much evidence that this new tomb-shrine existed, as it was utterly destroyed by Cromwell’s commissioners, but there is a lot of evidence nonetheless. For example “the remains of an iron pulley have survived, attached to a tie-beam of the 15th century roof above the vaulting.” It is believed that this pulley system would have served to raise and lower a wooden cover for the shrine. Additional evidence can be found by examining the floor in the retrochoir where a border of Hopton Wood stone lies in the center. It is even said that the stone is worn away in the area into a trough, the result of so many kneeling worshippers having prostrated themselves about the shrine. About the site of the shrine is this Latin inscription:

All of St. Swithun that could die lay here enshrined. Hither came the faithful, not of one age or clime, to honour him with prayers and gifts. A later age laid rude hands upon his relics but could not touch his fame. All that is of God is safe in God

A reasonable estimate can be made as to the route that pilgrims took when visiting the shrine in the retrochoir. “Their entry was certainly on the north side of the Cathedral, for the south transept and the choir were places trodden only by the brethren of the Priory. We know that the north transept was occupied by booths for the sale of candles and relics, and we can see today in the west face of the north transept a blocked-up doorway which would have been the most suitable point of entry for pilgrims in the Cathedral.” The traveler would enter, buy a candle, pass up the steps into the presbytery aisle and slowly make their way to the retrochoir “where stood the object of his search and the end of his long and often painful journey.” The shrine would be a beautiful and awe-inspiring site and was constantly surrounded by the sick of body, heart, and mind. There are very few documentary references to the shrine during its short tenure in the retrochoir (1476-1538). The Winchester Annals say that in 1241 the shrine was damaged by a flabellum falling from the tower and that the relics were shown later that year as a reassurance that the relics had not been damaged. But, it is far from clear which tower could have been near enough for anything to fall on to the shrine.

While Swithun’s shrine was highly venerated the site of Swithun’s original grave still received a lot of attention, as it had been the source of all those earlier miracles. “[S]oon after Old Minster had been demolished; an area which Martin Biddle and Birthe Kjolbye-Biddle have called a ‘memorial court’ was formed around the grave.” The major element of this “court” was a chapel that enclosed a monument to Swithun. “The latest monument has been shown to date, on archaeological evidence, from the mid-13th century; and a fragment of the monument has now been identified (Fig. 4.2).” The actual origin of this piece of marble has been highly debated over the past eighty years. Originally it was believe to have been part of the base that held Swithun’s feretory on the high altar. If the dating on the piece is correct then it clearly did not belong to the tomb-shrine, which did not come into existence for two hundred more years. Inspired by this piece of Purbeck marble a drawing was fabricated showing how Swithun’s feretory base may have looked (Fig. 4.1). However, John Crook then noticed that this reconstruction was impossible because the fragment begins to curve in to form a full circle, and not just a semi-circle (Fig. 4.2). The presence of these circles, found on many tomb-shrines as a means to get closer to the saint’s relics, was wholly unnecessary on the feretory of Saint Swithun. This is because pilgrims could not approach the altar and had to instead get as close to the shrine as possible by using the “Holy Hole”. So, having these circles on the feretory would make little sense, as they would never garner any use. Instead, it makes more sense that the marble fragment did in fact originate from the chapel of Saint Swithun found above his original grave.

When Swithun was in fact translated from the feretory to his tomb-shrine in 1476 it was partly because of the undergoing construction of the Great Screen. The Screen was constructed for multiple reasons, for stability, to further glorify the high altar, and thirdly, to keep out of “sight of the monks the turmoil and squalor, the presence of persons of both sexes, the crying or playing of children, the wretchedness and disease, the chances of fever and infection, which eddied round the famous Shrine of the wonder-working Saint St. Swithun.” The Screen itself contains a large statue of Saint Swithun who is prominently positioned to the left of Mary and below St. Peter (Fig. 5.1). This is not an original sculpture as those were destroyed. This one was modeled from the head of another Bishop from the original series. Swithun is sculpted holding a pastoral staff and a bridge which “he caused to be built about the year 855 at the point where the Roman Road crossed the River Itchen, at the foot of the High Street of Winchester.”

Although Swithun was always noted for building bridges and connecting with the people his legacy was greatly stunted at the time of the Reformation. Under the rule of Henry VIII, Cromwell ordered his commissioners to destroy the shrine and “St. Swithun’s shrine, which for centuries had been the glory of Winchester, was utterly destroyed.” The following letter was sent by Commissioner Thomas Wriothesley to Cromwell reporting what happened on September 21-2, 1538:

About three o’clock this Saturday morning we made an end of the shrine here at Winchester. There was no gold, nor ring, nor true stone in it, but all great counterfeits; but the silver alone will amount to 2,000 marks.

It is most likely that the monks of Swithun’s Priory saved Swithun’s relics and what jewels and gold they could before Cromwell’s men arrived. Sadly the Priory was abolished the following year by an act of parliament. “The splendour that had taken nearly five centuries in the making was extinguished. The glory had departed.”(Birt 17) Nothing remained in the church to extol Swithun’s glory until 1962 when a new shrine was donated to commemorate the 1,100th anniversary of his death (Fig. 3.2) What Saint Swithun leaves us with is the legacy of a man who was so virtuous and helpful to his fellow man while on earth that he was blessed with the gift of being able to help others once he had already entered into heaven.

1. John Earle, Legends of Saint Swithun, (London: Longman, Green,
Longman, and Roberts, 1861), p. 11.

2. Raymond Birt, The Glories of Winchester Cathedral, (London:
Winchester Publications Limited), p. 2.

3. Earle, p. iii.

4. Earle, p. iii.

5. Birt, p. 2.

6. Birt, p. 2.

7. Earle, p. 21.

8. Earle, p. 26.

9. Earle, p. 27.

10. Earle, p. 3.

11. Earle, p. 3.

12. Earle, p. 3.

13. Earle, p. 7.

14. Earle, p. 9.

15. Earle, p. 11.

16. Earle, p. 11.

17. Earle, p. 13.

18. The translation was made possible by using the following resources:

Geoffrey Chaucer, The Canterbury Tales, General Prologue (1387-92), p.17. ll. 17-19 in F. N. Robinson, ed. Cambridge: Riverside Press, 1957.

And:

John R. Clark, ed. A Concise Anglo-Saxon Dictionary. Cambridge: At the University Press, 1970.

Of course the original text was used as well:

Aelfric, Lives of Three English Saints, ed. G. I. Needham. New York: Appleton-Century Crofts, 1966. (Pp. 60-81, ll. 1-388.)

My father, Gary Brock, Ph.D. (Univ. of Washington, 1975), provided additional guidance in the process. Please note that there are multiple ways of spelling names such as Athelwold and Eadgar.


19. Birthe Kjolbye-Biddle, “Old Minster, St Swithun’s Day 1093,”
Winchester Cathedral: Nine Hundred Years, Ed. John Crook, _West Sussex: Phillimore & Co. LTD, 1993), p. 16.

20. Birt, p. 10.

21. Kjolbye-Biddle, p. 13.

22. Birt, p. 1.

23. Norman Sykes, The Pictorial History of Winchester Cathedral,
(Publication information is unknown), p. 18.

24. Birt, p. 8.

25. Peter Draper, “The Retrochoir of Winchester Cathedral,”
Architectural History: Journal of Architectural Historians of Great Britian, Volume 21 (1978), p. 8.

26. Birt, p. 9.

27. John Vaughn, Winchester Cathedral: Its Monuments and Memorials, (London: Selwyn & Blount, 1919), 1.

28. John Crook ed., The Wainscot Book, (Southhampton: Hobbs, 1984), p. 63.

29. Crook, p. 64.

30. Crook, p. 64.

31. Crook, p. 66.

32. Birt, p. 9.

33. Birt, p. 9.

34. Birt. P. 10.

35. Draper, p. 11.

36. Crook, p. 57.

37. Crook, p. 59.

38. George W. Kitchin, The Great Screen of Winchester Cathedral,
(London: Simpkin and Co., Limited, Stationer’s Hall Court, 1899), p. 12.

39. Kitchin, p. 36.

40. Vaughn, p. 4.

41. Crook, p. 66.

Activision + Vivendi = OMFG

Wow. Let me repeat that. Wow (and I don't even mean World of Warcraft which is included in this deal). This deal is HUGE. These companies have 19 billion USD in assets. Previously, Activision had only generated about 5% of their revenue in Asia. Now they have merged with Blizzard which makes Starcraft, Warcraft, and World of Warcraft, all games that are hugely popular in Asia. Meanwhile Vivendi gets Activision's "Hollywood" collection of IP; titles like Tony Hawk, Spiderman, etc.

Electronic Arts is in for some trouble. Time to get creative EA ! Making the same game every year (Madden, Tiger Woods) may not cut it any longer !


It's probably safe to assume that many executives spat out their morning coffee when news of the biggest merger in game industry history broke. Sunday morning, Activision and Vivendi Games announced that they were joining forces to create Activision Blizzard, a new, publicly traded company.

If the merger is approved, the new entity is expected to leapfrog over Electronic Arts to become the biggest independent third-party publisher on the planet, with estimated joint revenues in excess of $3.8 billion. That princely sum is dwarfed by the estimated combined value of Activision Blizzard's assets--a massive $18.9 billion.

While unexpected, the union makes perfect sense. Though its Call of Duty and Guitar Hero franchises are established success stories in the first-person shooter and rhythm game markets, Activision has no massively multiplayer online role-playing games in its portfolio.

Since the Creative Assembly was bought by Sega, its profile in the real-time strategy space has been nearly nonexistent. Enter Vivendi, whose Blizzard Entertainment subdivision owns the most popular MMORPG on the planet--World of Warcraft--and whose RTS roster includes the hugely anticipated Starcraft II.

As the game industry picked up its collective jaw up off the floor, GameSpot got ahold of Mike Morhaime, Blizzard's co-founder, president, and CEO, to get some insider perspective on this landscape-altering union.

Q: Obviously this is huge. Can you speak about the origins of the deal at all?
Morhaime: Well, I guess it originated out of a phone call earlier this year. (Activision CEO) Bobby Kotick went out and had lunch with (Vivendi CEO) Bruce Hack, and they chatted about possible things the two companies could do together. I think both companies left feeling like there was a lot of merit exploring the combination of the two companies. But before I get too far, I just want to clarify something--Vivendi is not buying Activision; they're acquiring a majority stake in Activision Blizzard, which is pretty different.

So it's more of a merger in which Vivendi has a controlling interest.
Morhaime: Yeah, that's perfect. Something Bobby (Kotick) has always wanted to do is grow his company to be the No. 1 game publisher in the industry. This provided him a way to do that. Activision's got a great track record, very strong in console gaming. In fact, the last several months they've been the No. 1 third-party publisher in console gaming.

Q: Yeah. The kids, they like the Guitar Hero.
Morhaime: Call of Duty has also been doing very well...

Q: Really? I hadn't noticed.
Morhaime: (Laughs) Right. Anyway, we've been very strong in PC games and online games. We're the publisher of the No. 1 massively multiplayer online subscription game in the world--9.3 million subscribers and counting. We're the only successful Western publisher in Asia.

Q: I hear you're popular in Korea.
Morhaime: (Laughs) Yeah, a bit.

Q: The total deal is worth nearly $19 billion, but it's not the only big deal of late and comes not long after EA bought BioWare/Pandemic, in large part for their upcoming massively multiplayer online role-playing game. Now, Activision Blizzard will be taking that project on head-on. Was this deal accelerated at all by the BioWare/Pandemic buyout?
Morhaime: I don't really think there was any correlation. We've been talking about this a long time before we heard about the other deal. There was a lot of due diligence. There was a lot of understanding of Vivendi's business and Activision's business. It really took some time.

Q: Are there any plans for staff reduction in the Activision Blizzard organization? What's going to happen in terms of the management structure?
Morhaime: Bobby Kotick will be CEO of Activision Blizzard, the public entity traded on Nasdaq of which Vivendi will have a majority interest. I will remain as president and CEO of Blizzard Entertainment, reporting to Bobby. Michael Griffiths will be president and CEO of Activision publishing, also reporting to Bobby. Activision publishing will include all non-Blizzard Vivendi games assets.

Q: So what happens to Sierra Entertainment? Is that brand going to remain or be subsumed by Activision?
Morhaime: (Pauses) I think it's too early to talk about the branding strategy going forward. I think those decisions will revolve around conversations that haven't happened yet. I do know that Mike Griffiths in his role as president and CEO of Activision Publishing will be responsible for all of the Vivendi games.

Q: So will all Activision Games be branded with a new Activision Blizzard logo?
Morhaime: I'm not sure about a logo--that's something we'll have to discuss. But I think this issue is very important from a consumer-facing standpoint, so I want to emphasize it: The Activision and Blizzard brands will remain. We're not going to put Blizzard Entertainment logos on Guitar Hero boxes, and we're not going to put Activision logos on World of Warcraft boxes.

Now on News.com
Part 1: Securing Microsoft: A long road

Living with technology: Magic '08-ball

All about coal: A necessary evil

Extra: Consumers to cell providers: Can you hear me now? Q: There is a big fear among certain gamers that with the creation of this "mega corporation," game quality will suffer. What assurances can you give the myriad Blizzard and Activision fans that this deal will in no way change the quality of your games?
Morhaime: I spent a long time speaking with Bobby Kotick about our culture, philosophy, and commitment to quality at Blizzard. And no one at Activision or Vivendi has any desire to change that. Why would they?

Activision runs an autonomous studio system. Their studios operate with a lot of creative freedom, and it's been very successful for them. That's something that may be different from the (way) other large publishers operate. But both Activision and Blizzard respect the talent that creates games, and this is going to be able to provide us with a stable, secure infrastructure with which we can take care of our people making games.

Striking Writers Should Get Gaming

The facts:

1. T.V viewership is in a delcine:


Television networks reacted with alarm
When a Nielsen Media Research TV ratings report
Showed a decline of 8 to 12 percent
In the number of 18 to 34-year-old men
Watching prime-time television
at the start of the 2003 TV season.
Some disbelieving network executives,
Fretting about fading viewer ship
Among a prized demographic group,
Questioned whether Nielsen itself
Had somehow
Botched its own measurements.
What Nielsen likely did record,
Though,
Is the first mass migration
Of young consumers
Away from traditional television
And toward a fast-growing entertainment alternative:
Video games.


2. Writers are on Strike:

It’s no surprise that scriptwriters for radio, television and movies are at a stand-still with the current Writers Guild of America (WGA) strike. After three weeks without work, those writers are starting to look for writing positions in the video game industry.

“Vidgames may be one of the prime reasons network TV doesn’t draw as many viewers as it used to, but it also represents a new market for screenwriters,” said Ben Fritz, technology and videogame reviewer for Variety magazine. “While the WGA has made no secret that it would like to eventually cover videogame writing, it hasn’t pushed the issue yet and is allowing members to work on games during the strike.”
The WGA is a union of writers who work in film, television and radio broadcasting. The reason the writers have all gone on strike in the first place is that they demand an increase on residuals for DVD sales and a healthy cut from new-media profits.
Naturally, the WGA has not hesitated to remind us that it plans to create a special category for videogame writers at the next Writers Guild Awards to be held in February 2008.
“Video games are written and many are written very well” said WGA West President Patric M. Verrone. “By recognizing the skill and craft of video game writing, the Writers Guilds intend to raise the profile of these writers so that they can get WGA contracts and benefits for this work. We aim, we shoot, we score.”
Veteran game and film writer, Flint Dille, said times have changed and games have come the new market.
“I’m certain some kind of union situation is going to evolve for this industry, including the writers,” Dille recalls. “Then as budgets went up, they realized they need designers and some actual art. Today, it’s unusual if a writer is not brought into the process at some point. Twenty years ago, games were all about the engineers. Over the next 20 years, I’m certain some kind of union situation is going to evolve for this industry, including the writers.”


3. Combine facts 1 and 2 and you get the conclusion:

Writers are going to turn to video games for work.
The writers may even GetGosu -_-

Living in Hong Kong and in a "Steam" hell

Come on Valve, get your acts together in the vast Asian market:


Original article can be found at: http://tokyoahead.com/main/article.php/ecommercehell


Sunday, November 11 2007 @ 03:28 PM Contributed by: Oliver Views: 71

If you live outside Europe, the Americas and Japan, you are E-commercially non-existent to many international corporations. The market seems too small for many companies. Nintendo for example is smart enough to region-code their Wii console, but if you want to have one in Hong Kong, you need to buy grey imports from the USA, with the wrong voltage and without the localized content that citizens of other countries get. But surely you can buy the products and use them. If you want to buy games over Valve's Steam platform it gets a "bit" more difficult. They published famous and great games such as Counter Strike, Half-life and Portal over this online-platform. But they do not seem to like you - and your money neither for that matter.

Step 1: Try to buy - successful start, failure at last.So if you are trying to buy something with them over credit card or paypal, they give you success messages at the beginning, let you enter all your data and click "Purchase" with the verified data. Same for Paypal, you log in, process the payment and then paypal sends you back to the Steam-screen where you confirm the final buy. But then, Steam cancels the whole thing with a message that the process was canceled by paypal because of an authorization failure!

Step 2: Try again and again, and get the boot.But after trying several credit cards and paypal, you are certain that the problem is with Steam, not your credit cards. However, they try to send you back to the credit company to fix a problem they caused. And to make it even more obscure, the Steam client bans you from payment for 24 hrs if you try for more than 3 times with a credit card with a message that the server is down and you should try later...

Step 3: Ask for help, and don't get any.So you write a support case on the Steam support website and ask what is going on. Then, you get a reply asking to send your credit card info again, this time via email or the support page, and the first time a clear message that you got blocked by Steam - not by Paypal.

Step 4: Tell them that you want to spend money, not take it.So of course sending all the info again is not the most direct thing to do since you tried it all already several times, and what should you send with paypal info anyhow? Your account password? So what do you do? You write back that this is ridiculous and that you feel lied at by Steam because of the various misleading error messages..

Step 5: Get a permission to spend money - once only please!So they write you back that they unblock your account. Now why did they need your credit card information again at first but not after you complain about it? Still your account is unblocked.

Step 6: Repeat. Beware. In case you want to buy another game with Steam, the whole procedure starts from scratch. So you might better warn them beforehand if you want to buy a game, so they can unblock your account in time. And that is what they recommend, too. They might tell you that they unlock your account when you ask for the first time, but they do not tell you until you explicitly ask for it that they unlock it each time for only one transaction, but never clear your account form beeing a criminal suspect despite repeated purchases:But wait... isn't that the same as going downtown and buying the game in a box? Aren't you using the online purchasing to be able to get the game anytime, any day, from your home? Well not if you are living in Hong Kong, you are quicker going downtown, even if the traffic & pollution is hell... its not as hot a hell as with Steam.Luckily, other companies such as Electronic Arts are not as unwilling to earn money. They have an extra page for Hong Kong, a large showroom in the city and allow you to order online - without giving you the impression

News from the WCG CounterStrike Final: Controversy and Borderline Disaster

What a day it was on Saturday. Unfortunately for the WCG organization most of the talk about Saturday's events were not focused on the matches themselves, but about the problems that plagued the tournament. Regardless, the tournament continued well behind scheduled finishing just the quarter finals match ups with the semi finals being pushed back to Sunday.
Besides the lagging schedule the CounterStrike Final's major problem was caused by the fact that the WCG made an attempt to combat the infamous duck-jump exploit, a movement skill made famous by today’s top players.

The problem with this initiative was that it would prove to be unenforceable and the attempts that were made by the referees let the players exploit their indecisiveness in a shameless manner that led to MYM vs eSTRO and a near fistfight between team Russia and eMazing Gaming.

The administrators standing behind the teams were consistently unable to identify the duck-jump incidents as they happened. The teams that lost though were hot off the trails of other complaints and filed their own. Hours of demo scrutinizing followed and flip-flopped decision-making turned the tournament into a parody that will live on in infamy. And the pressure took its toll on them too, as the fatigue set in the decisions became more irate.

To illustrate the lack of consideration behind this rule, picture the world cup of football where you are not allowed to kick the ball more than sixty feet. Then put a referee on the pitch in charge of enforcing it based on the subjective measurements of his eyesight alone. You are bound to get in trouble and so did the WCG referees; repeatedly. Despite all the criticism they attracted they worked relentlessly for 12-14 hours per day.

You must consider that CounterStrike is only one of the thirteen (13) games that were offered at the WCG final. Overall one would have to say that the WCG final was a success. Unfortunately the CounterStrike segment of the tournament was marred by controversy and borderline disaster.

UIGEA Plays Favorites

The most interesting part of last year's UIGEA is that it clearly says that "fantasy sports" is NOT gambling.

However, fantasy sports are most definitely gambling (isn't picking individual players and betting on how they perform just about EXACTLY the same as picking a whole team and betting on how it will perform?)

I would say that fantasy sports may even be more of a gamble than regular sports betting!

There are so many variables spanning an entire season of pro sports. The group of players that you "draft" before the season starts may not even last the whole season (every player you draft could get injured).

I remember that one year I had drafted Steve Young with my first draft pick (which was randomly assigned to me). In the previous NFL season Steve had accumulated more fantasy points than any other NFL player, making him the highest ranked player in our draft. Steve promptly got a serious concussion in the first month of the season and never played football again. If only I had been more skillful, I could have either prevented Steve's injury and or not drafted Steve in the first place. Luckily, (note "luckily") this was the same year that Kurt Warner burst on the scene (because the Rams starting QB also got injured). Kurt went on to put up one of the greatest offensive seasons of all time, and after picking him up off of waivers (because I was lucky enough to sign him before anyone else) I ended up winning my fantasy league...all without Steve Young my #1 draft pick. There was so much luck involved in this, I really couldn't believe it.

You have no control over these players getting injured or not. You also don't have any control on how any of these players will perform on a game to game basis. It is entirely luck how your players perform. These are all reasons why playing fantasy sports is gambling.

This shows you the power of the MLB, NFL, NBA. It's all about paying up with the right people. The government doesn't really want to stop gambling, they just want to get paid.

Fantasy sports makes the average sports viewer feel more connected and involved with the sports that they watch. This means that these league's fans will become more attached to their sport, and they will become more loyal.

Personally, I don't have any problem with fantasy sports ( after all I won my football league right?). I don't have any problem with gambling either. In general, I don't think that the government should try to control the decisions that adults are capable of making for themselves. What I do have a problem with, is the fact that the UIGEA plays favorites.

Part III of the Counter-Strike:Source Strategy Guide

I haven't posted in a few weeks as I have been on vacation. But, now I am back and am itching to play some Counter-Strike:Source. Since I'll inevitably be playing on a CS:S team with a few scrubs that will need my help; here is my latest installment of the Counter-Strike:Source Strategy Guide (Part III):

Counter-Strike:Source Strategy Guide Part III:

III. Room Breaching

There are a number of things that noobs continuously do wrong when it comes to breaching a room (moving through a doorway) in Counter-Strike.
a. They don't use flash-bangs.
b. They use flash-bangs in an uncoordinated manner and “team-flash.”
c. They don't time the breach with their teammates and or they enter the room by themselves.

In my opinion, not using a flash-bang is acceptable when:

a. You are 100% certain that the enemy is not in the room that you are entering.
b. You are relying on your speed as part of a flanking maneuver.

As far as team-flashing goes, most team-flashing in CS:S is caused by little kids that have nothing better to do but spawn and start using flashes. However, for those of us that aren't so easily entertained I would suggest that you make it standard practice that the second man (the man behind a crouching point-man) use the flash-bang (after all if you are the point-man you probably want to have a gun ready to fire).
I suggest that before entering the room the second man throws a flash-bang over the shoulder of the point-man, thereby the point-man is able to keep his weapon trained on the doorway in case the enemy should come through the doorway.
As far as working as team in a coordinated manner goes, take if from some real-life pros:
“When you move into a space to clear, you gotta have trust in the guy behind ya, because they cover the areas you can’t see and fire directly over your shoulder if a threat is posed,” said Pvt. Craig R. Putnam. “You have to know you can rely on them.”
Each member of the squad is assigned a “section of responsibility” or portion of the room for which they are responsible upon entry. The first and second men clear immediate threats, which are threats in the Soldiers’ direct line of sight when they enter.
The next set of Soldiers cover the first set by perusing all other areas that may hold secondary potential threats. These Soldiers move closely behind the first Soldiers, positioning their weapons on the shoulders of those in front as a safety precaution. They scan and identify high threats and assess “red zones,” which are objects in the room that the enemy may be able to hide behind, said Capt. Jared P. Wilson, C Company commander.
The team leader controls the movements of the squad throughout the maneuver, making the calls on what his Soldiers will do next based on his knowledge of their capabilities, Wilson said. The squad leader can position himself anywhere in the element to better control it and the mission, he explained.

Part II of the Counter-Strike Strategy Guide

Hi again,

Last week I started the Counter Strike Strategy Guide with some "universal" military tactics.
This week I am bringing you part II of the Counter Strike Strategy Guide: Close Quarters Battle (CQB).
Counter-Strike is a game in which the vast majority of fighting is close quarters. The majority of confrontations occur over
small rooms, doors, choke points, hallways, corners and alleys. Generally there is not much fighting in wide open spaces because Counter Strike Maps
don't have many open spaces and also because if you are running around in the open you are asking to get shot in the face.
Therefore, it makes sense for us to take a look at the principles used in close quarters battles.

Counter-Strike Strategy Guide Part II:

II. Close Quarters Battle

Contents:

1. Overview
2. Principles of Assault
2.1 Detailed Planning
2.2 Surprise
2.3 Methods of Entry
2.4 Speed
2.5 Violence of Action
3. Military
4. Police
5. Private Industry

1. Overview

Close Quarters Battle (CQB) or close quarters combat (CQC) is a type of fighting in which small units engage the
enemy with personal weapons at very short range, even to the point of hand-to-hand combat. In the typical CQB scenario,
the attackers try a very fast, violent takeover of a vehicle or structure controlled by the defenders, who usually have no
easy way to withdraw. Because enemies, hostages/civilians, and fellow operators can be closely intermingled, CQB demands a
rapid assault and a precise application of lethal force. The operators need great proficiency with their weapons, but also the
ability to make split-second decisions in order to limit friendly casualties.
Criminals sometimes use CQB techniques, such as in an armed robbery or jailbreak, but most of the terminology comes from
training used to prepare soldiers, police, and other authorities. Therefore, much CQB material is written from the perspective
of the "good guys" who must break into the stronghold where the "bad guys" have barricaded themselves.
Although there is considerable overlap, CQB is not synonymous with urban warfare, now sometimes known by the military acronyms
MOUT (military operations on urban terrain) or FIBUA (fighting in built-up areas) in the West. Urban warfare is a much larger field,
including logistics and the role of crew-served weapons like heavy machine guns, mortars, and mounted grenade launchers,
as well as armor and air support. In CQB, the emphasis is on small infantry units using light, compact weapons that one man
can carry and use easily in tight spaces, such as submachine guns, shotguns, pistols and even knives.

2. Principles of Assault

2.1 Detailed Planning

Ideally, the leader of the assault team gathers all available intelligence about the crisis scene, targets, and innocents. He diagrams and discusses the proposed plan, outlining each team’s actions and responsibilities, location, fields of fire, and special tasks (even to the point of a wall-by-wall and door-by-door layout of the objective, where available). Since the assault team usually already has specialized training, the operation is based on well-understood, established standing operating procedure. When considerable preparation time is available, the team sometimes conducts step-by-step walk-through exercises on a mock-up that duplicates the target environment. Some units maintain permanent "shoot houses" or even airliner/ship mock-ups for practicing marksmanship and tactics more realistically.
In a prolonged standoff, the attackers can sometimes bring in specialized equipment for probing the inside of a well-defended area. Sensitive thermal cameras can help locate the occupants, and surveillance personnel can run microphones and fiber-optic cameras through walls, ceilings, and floors. The "throw phones" used to establish contact between authorities and suspects often contain hidden cameras or infrared illuminators for added intelligence-gathering. If hostages escape or can communicate/signal the attackers, they can provide more information from inside.
However, the time and resources to carry out such luxurious preparations are not always there. Not every attacker can field an overwhelming force of specially trained and equipped men with reinforcements standing by. Information about the inside of an enemy-held building or vehicle may not be accessible beyond studying it through binoculars or a rifle scope. While some attackers can go to the lengths of wearing the enemy down by siege or even tunneling under them, others must get the current job done immediately with the force available in order to move on to the next.

2.2 Surprise

Military team conducting a stealthy approach to the target CQB training. The objective is to complete all offensive action before the party being engaged is able to react. To gain this element of surprise, the entry teams use stealth movement and noise/light discipline to get as close to the targets as possible, hopefully putting themselves in a position to engage an enemy from the moment he becomes aware of them. Some teams use subsonic sniper rifles for their initial shots on sentries or dogs.
An assault should come at a time when least expected, taking into consideration fatigue, normal sleep periods, and other factors that detract from the target's alertness. Diversions are an essential element in achieving surprise. Staged emergencies, such as a mock auto accident, fire, or explosion near the crisis site, can divert the target's attention away from the assaulting elements. Explosive breaching and diversionary devices, such as flash bang, smoke, or gas grenades can be employed to distract and disorient the targets. Negotiators can try to manipulate the defenders into a more vulnerable position or convince them that their position will not be stormed.

2.3 Methods of Entry

Entry team approaching target breach point during CQB training. When law enforcement clears a building, they usually work in a slow and deliberate manner using ballistic shields and mirrors for searching. This affords the highest degree of safety and security for the police, as well as any uninvolved bystanders inside the search area, who can be identified and safely removed without subjecting them to the shock and danger of a sudden assault. When suspects are encountered, the police can confront them with an alert, armed force and try to take control without shooting. If the searchers meet heavy resistance, they can usually pull back without harm and prepare for a dynamic entry.
However, against determined, well-armed opponents who fight in concert to defend an area and keep it under their control, slow stop-and-go movement can cause the deaths of many attackers and hostages. That leads to dynamic entry, used in military operations or hostage rescues. It is the popular image of CQB: a flood of gunmen who burst in without warning and attempt to seize the area. Dynamic entry tactics must be rapid and aggressive, ideally a continuous flow using overwhelming force that does not stop until the threat is eliminated.
In the vast majority of hostage rescue and other dynamic CQB operations, it is desirable to use multiple simultaneous attacks from different entry points to overload the target's ability to react effectively. The more entry points the attackers can choose from, the better their chances. The teams actually entering the objective usually have to synchronize with snipers, negotiators, power technicians, perimeter guards, and others who assist from the outside. Medical personnel, investigators, and bomb experts may be prepped to enter the scene as soon as the initial attackers get control.
It is important that a central commander coordinate all armed elements, not only to better complete a sweep of the target area, but especially to guard against friendly fire. Most assault rifle bullets can go straight through an enemy and still exit with enough force to kill again, so letting enemies get between two attackers (or attacker and hostage) can easily lead to fratricide. Pistol rounds and shotgun pellets carry less risk of overpenetration through a human body, but on a miss, they can still blast through several sheets of drywall and kill unseen people on the other side. When large areas must be searched, leaders will assign boundaries between elements and track them by radio to ensure they do not interfere with each other. The goal is to establish overlapping fields of fire, so that multiple shooters can attack at once from different directions without danger of hitting one another.

2.4 Speed

Once the assault begins, the team must gain control before the target understands what is happening and can prepare an effective defense or mount a counterattack. The defenders sometimes have a contingency plan that could cause the attack to fail instantly, such as killing hostages, detonating bombs, or destroying evidence. If they can execute an organized plan, such as falling back into a prepared stronghold, or breaking through the perimeter, the possibility of friendly casualties increases. Speed is achieved through well-designed tactics, such as gaining proximity with an undetected approach, the use of multiple entry points, and explosive breaching. Note that the need for speed does not necessarily translate to individual operators choosing to run in these situations.

2.5 Violence of Action

For the dynamic entry team, gaining and maintaining physical and psychological momentum is essential. They smash down doors, blast holes in walls, come through windows, and drop from helicopters. Vehicle-mounted rams and platforms are used to create unexpected entry points. The sensory onslaught from tear gas, explosive breaching, flashbangs, and gunfire is complemented by the intimidating and aggressive actions of the assault team. Hostiles do sometimes hide among the hostages, so once the shooting has stopped, operators must maintain dominance over anyone still alive.
The defenders try to stop enemies close to the entry points. The "fatal funnel" is the dangerous area where the assaulter is silhouetted against his own entry point from the perspective of defenders inside the room. Once operators begin to enter, the defenders try to keep them from escaping the fatal funnel. The attackers are also vulnerable from the corners closest to the entry point, the first place from which they can be hit from behind as they enter the room. If the first attackers cannot clear the corners and get out of the fatal funnel, allowing those behind to move in and help, the attack can bog down.

3. Military

Military uses of close quarters battle vary by unit type, branch and mission. Military operations other than war (MOOTW) may involve peacekeeping or riot control. Specialized forces such as the U.S. Coast Guard or U.S. Navy VBSS (Visit, Board, Search, and Seizure) teams may adapt CQB tactics to their specific needs, e.g. for the boarding compliant and non-compliant vessels at sea. Hostage rescue or extraction by commando troops such as the British Special Air Service, Delta Force or U.S. Navy SEALs may involve even more esoteric adaptations or variations, depending on specialized environments, weapons technology, political considerations or a mixture of friendly, unfriendly or civilian personnel.
Armies that often engage in urban warfare operation may train most of their infantry in basic CQB doctrine as it relates to common tasks such as building entry, "clearing a room" and concussion and other grenades.

4. Police

Domestically, police crisis response teams (CRTs) are the primary groups to engage in CQB. Situations involving the potential for CQB generally involve extraordinary threats outside of conventional police capabilities, and thus CRTs are specifically organized, equipped, and trained to respond to these situations. These situations often require the special tactics and techniques involving building entry and room clearing procedures that are the hallmarks of CQB.
Police CQB doctrine is also specialized by unit type and mission. Riot control, corrections, the FBI Hostage Rescue Team and SWAT teams, for example, each have different goals, but may make use of similar tactics and technology such as non-lethal force. A prison, for example, may have a squad which specializes in high-risk cell extractions, and psychiatric hospitals or wards often have similar specialized teams. Among the "less-than-lethal" tools and tactics central to police CQB are electroshock guns, pepper spray, riot shields and riot guns to fire tear gas, rubber bullets, plastic bullets or beanbag rounds. All so-called "less-than-lethal" weapons can inflict injuries which may cause death.

5. Private Industry

Private corporations engaged in security or military operations overseas maintain internal CQB teams.
For example, these teams might be responsible for responding to an incident at a facility operated by a
government agency who has engaged the contractor's services. That team would then act as the Crisis Response Team (CRT) and
"clear" the facility of threats or hostiles. In another example, Military corporations or Private military contractor might be
employed to provide protection for high-ranking diplomats or military officers in war zones.